Are you an Indian?

(Irrelevant answer) AT&T has got help desks all over the world madam!

(Irritated) But where are you located?

Am in India.

I knew that. Ok my number is 865-xxx-xxxx.

Thank you madam, how may I assist you today?

My internet is not working.

Can you please tell me what modem you are using and I am extremely sorry for your inconvenience. Not to worry I will fix your problem.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop it! I dint understand a damn what you said.

(Scolds in local Indian language) I guess we had some line problems, now can you hear me better.

Will you please get me your supervisor?

Sup: yes madam how can I help you? This is john the floor sup.

Your name is john? (Sarcastically) honey I don’t understand why the hell our calls are routed to India.

Mam could you please close all the windows that you have?

(After 10 mins) do you want me to shut the door as well?

What operating system do you use?

I use a dell.

(Go shake your bell)

Type 192.168.1.254 on the address bar of your internet explorer.

Now what did you get?

Nothing!

Nothing?

Yeah! (Dumb ass she never pressed enter key)

Turn off your modem and turn it on (after she does that) are you able to go online?

Oh wow Patrick you are a genius. You made my day! Am so happy that I spoke to you. Honey honey honey he resolved it. I always knew Indians are brilliant when comes to computer. Patrick you have made a miracle. God bless you my child. (Idiot has stayed in the line for almost 45 minutes to get someone on the line and to do this step)

Hey pat how is the weather over there?

Mam its freezing, we have snowfall since last month. Yeah I know it always happens in India(lol), its kinda hot here we have around 95.